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Wedding customs

  


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Liking of girl or seeing 
Among people after boy an girl liked each other the opinion of parents are asked. After boy\'s parents agreed they send notice to relatives of girl, aunt, mother. Their attitude is studied. 

Sending of notice 
Boy finds out the home of girl and send any suitable envoy to girl’s home to say wherefrom he came. Sometimes it happens that the girl’s home is not agreed. Then the most influential and respected men of the boy’s side try to make the girl’s home agree. 

Small match-making  
According to tradition, first two women – mother of boy and one of close relatives go for match making. As soon as women came to an agreement, then fathers of the family meet. Father of boy together with three respected person go to the house of the girl. Those who go to match-making inform to the girl’s house that they came for match-making. 
No one should go for match-making at evening. 
The tea put in front of messengers are not drunken. 
It is said in match making that Girl-tree is like a nut-tree, everybody throws a stone, Girl’s freight is like a load of salt. 
The girl\'s father does not agree from the first match-making - Maiden\'s door is the door of the king. Let me to get advice with girl, her mother, close relatives, then we will inform you about final decision. 
If asked the girl\'s opinion, she keeps silence it mean the sign of agreement. But the final word is not told again. The consent for great match making is agreed. Because the key word is said by the adults, elders. 

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Match-making 
Father invite the people close to the family, uncle, and other relatives to the home. After consulting it is decided to go for match-making. 
Boy\'s sister or bride meet with girl and once again try to know her opinion. When they see that girl agrees, the say their opinion to him. Then they come to girl’s mother and say that “ on certain day we will came to you for match-making. 
Girl\'s mother makes aware about it home people. Close relatives are called home. After consulting if they come to agreement, they find out the girl’s opinion. It is asked by sister, bride, mother or fellow of the girl. When a girl is agreed she always say: You know it better. 
Messengers come onf fixed day. After a long conversation the aim of the visit is revealed. If girl’s side is not agree, it is rejected. This word is not changed more. If they agree, they say: Let’s think, consult and then come to a decision. But now are our guests. 
After a while the boy\'s house again come for match-making for the second time. Again, the notice is sent to the girl’s house about visit. 
This time the house of girl is prepared prior. They invite own relatives, neighbors, elders. 
Messengers of boy come. They sit in top seat. The girl’s side is also sit. The women and men both participate in this party. Except mother of girl. She also sometimes come in but does not sit in party. 
After a little conversation one from the boys side begins the key talks. He addresses to girl’s side and asks: Then, what is now is your final decision? From girl’s side her uncle says with light favor says (you already came to our home, eat bread and salt, etc.) God bless Let them be happy. All sit in the party say Amen. The new relatives greet each other. 
Sister, or bride of the girl brings a tea. Everyone drink sweet tea. After that sometimes the meal is served, too. After the messenger go sister of girl or bride go to sister of “bride”. Because when the messenger comes the girls should not sit at home. They said blessing to girl and bring her home. 

Balga or small engagement 
After getting girl’s, yes the small engagement called ‘balga’ is brought to girl at latest one month. Again, the girl\'s house is informed prior. About 25-30 people take part in this party. The  people  from girl’s home comes and bring one engagement ring, one shawl and a confectionery. Before starting the party boy\'s sister, brother, brides or father fix a ring in her finger and put shawl in girl’s shoulder, and take one confectionery and makes it bite by girl and takes its half to boy. 
Then everyone takes sweets. They eat and drink, enjoy. After boy\'s people go the party of girls begins. The engaged girl put her hand on head of unmarried girls. Then she gives her sit to girlss. It is also said that whomsoever the girl give first the ring, the turns is hers, and she will be engaged. 
When the girls go home they take sweet with self. And when go for bed, the put two same engagement sweet under the pillow. It is said that the boy to whom she will be married will come in dream. 

Big engagement 
A few months later after balga the big engagement is brought. The boy’s side is prepared to it  for a long time. In this engagement everything necessary for girl is brought. Except for shoes. It is said that the shoes is narrowness. It is also bought but when mother in laws come to bride in mid time. 
In most cases a boy’ side takes all expenses. Meat, butter, flour, rice, greens, in a word, everything, except onions. Onion is said to be bitterness. 
Boy\'s house bring engagement in decorated with red ribbon trays and suitcases. 
Everyone eats and drinks and then the table is taken out. The girl is sit at the top. The mirror is put in front of her, candles are burnt. Trays are settled around. After giving dues to mother (namar) the boy’s sister begins to demonstrate whatever they brought. All sit tell at once Congratulations. Then takes one of perfumes from tray and gives it to sit persons and all smell it.   

Holiday gift 
Before the wedding party the gifts are brought for girl in all holidays. The most interesting of them is Novruz gifts. The gift is brought for bride in last Wednesday or in the holiday evening. Here the red dress, or shawl, and jewelry, horned rams with henna on head are brought for bride. In addition, a pie, pakhlava, nuts - hazelnuts, innab, date filled trays decorated with candles and samani are brought. Henna is put on bride\'s head, hands and feet. 

Talking 
Elder of the boy send news to girl’s home that tomorrow we would come. 
At next day uncles, father and other close peoples, relatives from boys’ side participate at party. 
Mostly men take part in this party. Here sometimes father of girl’s fellow or friends of boy take part, too. 
The date of wedding party is fixed on talks. Wedding expense is born exclusively by boy\'s house. Sometimes the girl\'s father does not want an expense. But boy’s home send to the girl\'s house for wedding whatever they can afford. After talking and agreeing they give blessing to each other and left. 

Dress matching 
Before the wedding the dress marching takes place at girl\'s home. Only women take part in this ceremony. The trays are brought for bride, the party is arranged. Relatives show the gift bought for girl, and then take sweets from a special small bags. Then bride\'s sister shows the dowry that will be taken out from father\'s house. 

Dowry 
Two - three days before the wedding the dowry of the girl is brought. It is brought by bride\'s brother, uncles, cousin, aunt sons and friends. Mother gives namar to brother of bride fro offloading of dowry. Then the bride\'s relatives, his sister\'s comes to decorate the home. After they decorated the home some of items are bound with red tapes. Mother in law gives a gift to those who decorated the home. 

Bread cooking  
Three days before the wedding day the selected women and girls - brides gather and come to the house of a boy or a girl for bread cooking. The dough is made, dough ball is cut, yukha or lavash is made. The first bread cooked shall be given to the mother of boy or girl. It is said that Let your table be productive, the bread hot. 

Girl’s shakhy 
Each girl had close girl-friend, sisterhood. Sisterhood makes shakhy for those who married. Shakhy making is a widespread  tradition. Shakhy is a wedding decoration made of wood with the mirror on it, candles, cloths, sugar candy, fruit. It requires a special talent to decorate. If the sisterhood of girl was married, she makes shakhy from the home where she is a bride. 
The patry is made in sisterhood, shakhy is decorated. Youths come to sisterhood by dancing. The party is held here. In the evening, about nine-ten  o’clock, young boys from the boy’s home come to girl’s shakhy. Groom and brother also come. Fire”  set in the yard, the people dance and sing. Then they take shakhy and come to girl’s home. They arrange party in girl\'s house,  too. 

Henna making  
Girls gather in one of the room. The wife of another brother of the groom begins to play  by taking the wet henna. Then, takes one cup and empty vessel and puts in front of boy’s people. She puts money in empty vessel and takes the henna. She comes to home of girl by dancing. She makes henna in her hands and feet. Then she brings it in front of party participants. Everyone takes henna and give namar.  
When girls are in henna making the guys dance and enjoy. At that time one of people from the girl\'s hand bring two colored tea and put in before the groom and his friends. The also drink tea and put namar in dish. 
One of the girls brings henna. Guys also makes their little finger in henna. 

Religious marriage registering
Religious marriage registering takes place  a few days before wedding. Usually it is registered by mullah. Both sides are taking part in this ceremony. Each hand has one person as a witness. Mullah is given money and one sugar loaf. 
Close people of the parties, as well as girl and boy participate in the marriage registering.

Wedding 
Previously there were three days of wedding in villages. Thos who gather in party appraise the new married, wish them all the best, and enjoy. It is important to enter the marriage by bride and groom at day of wedding. Previously, the left and right hand assistant of groom sit nearby. The son\'s mother gives them present. When the groom is delayed in his weeding, the man sit in his place would get a gift. Groom or bride are made to dance in own weeding. According to sayings when the bride and groom dance on own wedding there would be abundance and cheapness.

Taking out of bride 
Under the tune of most popular Azerbaijani song ”Vagzali” the people of boy come to girl’s home. They dance and sing, and say: 
We came to get, 
To get a shawl. 
We are the men of boy, 
We came to take. 
The door of bride’s room is closed. Unless the grooms’ father doe not pay the bride\'s house does not allow the bride to go out. Parents give their blessings before the girl goes out. The brother in law binds the bride\'s waist with red shawl. Veil is put on head of the bride. The big fire is set in the yard and the bride is taken around it three times so to make the home of husband light and hot.  
The stone is thrown back the bride to make her new home stronger and water is poured to make the new home clean.         
When the bride reaches home of husband a dish is put under the feet of bride, she breaks it and passes in. Bride is sit in the door and a boy child is put in her hand to give a birth first to boy.  Sheep is cut under the feet of the bride as sacrifice. The sheep’s blood is marked on bride\'s forehead, and in dress to make her hot-tempered, to be quickly accustomed to home of husband. 
The mother in law of bride smoothes the head of bride to make the atmosphere of kindness. 
Coins, sweets, rice, wheat are thrown over head of bride to make wealth and abundance. 
The red ribbon mirror is taken before the bride. The mirror is in the hands of wife of another brother. The left and right hand assistants have in hand a glass with rice and candle. Rice is a symbol of fertility. 
The bride is taken into the decorated room. Everyone says be happy, be with son, kids. 
Three days after the marriage girl\'s mother and close relatives come to visit the girl.  

Appearance 
The new bride avoids meeting the father in law. 10 - 15 days after the wedding the mother in law prepares the table. Calls on all members of the family. Everybody come and sit, except bride.  Then she gave bride a valuable gift and says that she is dearest member of this family. After that the bride does not shy of anybody. 

Seeing of bride  
Two - three months after the wedding girl\'s house informs the home of boy that we com on that day to see the bride. Boy\'s house takes preparation. Mother of girl takes some close relatives and visit mother of boy. They enjoy. At the end the girl\'s mother present gifts that she brought for bride and groom. 

Ayaqachdı (1st visit)
After seeing the bride the mother of bride invite daughter and her husband at own home. It is called as ayaqachdı. Men also go for ayaqachdi. The big party is arranged. 
Mother of the boy gives to son and his wife the gift. That day the girl is detained at home as guest. After one - two days her husband comes and takes her away. After ayaqachdı bride an groom visit this home whenever they desire. 

Calling the guests 
After the ayaqachdı (1st visit) both from the boy’s side and from girl’s side the closest relatives invite bride and groom to guest. It is also some kind of ayaqachdı. After inviting guest the bride and groom visit their home. When the guest is called the new married are gifted with present. In general, wherever bride and groom” visit for the first time, they are presented with gift. 



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